Talk to Me
by Miss.Maraudeur
Summary: If you ask Emily, the worst thing when she and Naomi have proper fights is that she often forgets mid-way through why exactly they're fighting in the first place. It always starts with something completely remote, but then it escalates and she's left alone trying to resolve things while Naomi shuts her out and shuts down. This time, it's no fucking different.


**A/N: Hello! So this is just a short One-Shot, nothing big at all. Just something that was in my head and needed to get out. And since I haven't posted anything in a while I figured why the hell , apart from the collab (which is still totally on by the way), I've been busy writing a completely new story! (Yay? Nay?) And I'm not quite ready to post that one up yet, but I can already tell you it has NOTHING to do with Manifolds! No really, it's very light and funny and not angsty at all! Shocking right? So it's probably because I haven't written any angst in a while that this popped up! I promise it's not that bad! I promiseeee! **

**Anyhow, hope you enjoy :)  
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If you ask Emily, the worst thing when she and Naomi have proper fights is that she often forgets mid-way through why exactly they're fighting in the first place. It always starts with something completely remote, but then it escalates and she's left alone trying to resolve things while Naomi shuts her out and shuts down. This time, it's no fucking different.

"Jesus Naomi! It's not supposed to be this complicated!" Emily yells. It only makes her anger worse when Naomi doesn't reply. "Fuck, say something, _anything_. Don't just stand there like an arsehole!"

Naomi doesn't reply still, but just clenches her teeth together. Emily can see her knuckles turning white and she knows the blonde is about to break. She realizes with a start that she actually _wants_ her to break. She's sick of fighting alone, she wants to cause a reaction, whatever that reaction might end up being.

"Naomi…" she tries more softly, but the blonde isn't even looking at her and she finds her anger rear its head back again with a vengeance. "You're un-fucking-believable! You're supposed to open up to me! You're supposed to fight back at the very least!"

Her heart breaks a bit when Naomi still meets her words with a cold silence. And Emily really can't take this much pain anymore.

"Do you even fucking care? Do you even love me at all?" She spats, her voice breaking at the mere suggestion that Naomi doesn't love her all that much.

And that does the trick, Naomi's eyes go _wild_ when she turns to look at Emily. The redhead is slightly shaken when she sees just how many emotions are flashing in the blue gaze of her girlfriend. It's so raw, so powerful that it nearly scorches her.

"_Don't_ say that" Naomi says forcefully.

Emily knows she's furious now, but so is she. How dare Naomi act so self-righteously because Emily challenged her love? It's not like the blonde is that fucking expressive to begin with. The redhead thinks she's earned the right to question whatever she wants where Naomi is concerned.

"Why the fucking hell not? It's not like you haven't given me reasons to doubt!"

"_What_!?" Naomi shouts, clearly outraged. "How can you say that? You have no fucking clue, okay?!"

"No! Not okay Naomi! If I have "_no clue"_ then fucking explain!"

"I can't!"

"Oh that's convenient isn't it?! You _can't_!" Emily says sarcastically. "Not good enough! Try harder!"

"I am!"

"No you're not! You don't give me anything! You're always hiding behind walls of silence and indifference. Like being with me is so god damn complicated to you! You know what Naomi? If it's such a fucking inconvenience why do you fucking bother?"

"That's… that's not it" Naomi stumbles out.

"Then what is it? _God_ it's not _that_ fucking hard!"

"It is to _me_!" Naomi yells suddenly and Emily is stunned by the sheer force behind her girlfriend's words. "It's fucking hard to me okay? And I _try_, I keep trying, but you always want more!"

Emily tries to reply to that, but Naomi just cuts her off and continues. She's done it, Emily thinks, this time, she's broken through her.

"You have _no_ fucking idea what it's like for me Emily, no _fucking_ clue, yet you keep judging me every chance you've got! I don't do that! I don't do feelings and emotions and heartfelt confessions! I _don't_! I fucking _can't_! Don't you get it Ems? I'm all I've got!"

Tears are falling freely from the blonde's eyes now and Emily isn't sure she's quite ready for the amount of break she's just caused. It's too late for doubts now. It's her damn fault and now she needs to get herself into gear and be there for the blonde who obviously needs her.

"That's not true Naomi… You've got your mum and-" she tries but is cut off once again.

"I don't. You don't know Ems, you just don't. My mum and I, we're not like you, like your family. What we have is not what you know. Yes I love her, to bits, she's my mum. But I just can't rely on her."

"What?" Emily asks bemused. "Why?"

"Because she let me on my own! When my father left, she was a _mess_. Proper heartbroken sod and there was nothing I could do to make it better okay? And I was a mess too, for fuck's sake he was my dad! And she let me deal with that on my own"

"Come on Naoms… you know she didn't mean to… She was hurting, she didn't know what to do any more than you did"

"I know _that_. I'm not mad at her or anything. I mean I was, for the longest time, why do you think I was an insufferable angry teenager? Anyway, I'm not angry anymore. I get it. But that doesn't change the fact that she wasn't there does it?"

And Emily really can't argue with that.

"You've got me" she whispers softly instead.

"Yeah? Do I? How am I supposed to fucking know?"

"I'm telling you!"

"That's not enough" Naomi states with a certitude that is almost cold.

The redhead feels her eyes gloss over and it hurts. What Naomi just said hurts a _lot_. She imagines it's how it would feel to get all the air sucked out of her chest. Her face must reflect it too because the blonde's features soften.

"I'm sorry… I don't mean that _you're_ not enough… it's just… Fuck Ems… I managed to pull through losing my father by relying on myself. And now it's what I do. I don't put any hopes or any expectations on anyone. Ever. I deal with my shit on my own and it _works_. I guess I have walls, but they're a necessary evil. They hold me up so that I don't break"

"Why can't you just let them go?" the redhead demands almost childishly.

"Because if I do, I die" Naomi croaks, fresh tears covering her cheeks.

Emily is stood wide eyed at the confession. Actually, it's not so much the words that are shocking, but the tone in which her girlfriend said them. She meant it. The redhead knows she meant it as it was said, she means die _literally_. It's not an emphasis, not a figure of speech. Naomi means die as in "heart stops beating" die.

She realizes for the first time that Naomi is a lot more fragile than she thought. She's always boasted about how she can _see_ the other girl, how she just knows her better than everyone else, but she never imagined that the blonde's fears ran that deep. Naomi was right, she didn't have a fucking clue, did she?

"I… I used to be different. I _did_ rely on my mum once… so when she let me down… I just… I felt so alone I just… I didn't think I'd make it. Fuck, I think I barely made it" the blonde mutters, bringing her palm to stubbornly wipe away her tears.

Emily can tell she's annoyed with herself. They both know she's shared a lot more in the past few minutes then she's probably ever shared in her life.

"Relying on myself is how I survived. So now, it's my default setting, it's the _only_ thing I know will always work. I can't change that back. As long as I'm strong, I'm good. If I lose myself and it all goes tits up again… I don't think I'd make it through… I don't think I'd have the strength… Ems you have no idea… No idea how it feels when you've got _nothing_ left"

"I'd never leave you…" Emily says.

She means it too. Naomi smiles sadly at her though.

"That's not something you can promise"

"I can't imagine my life without you" the redhead says as if it'll convince the blonde.

She knows it won't. She finally understands no words will. It's not as simple as that anymore.

"I can't imagine my life without you either" Naomi says and this time her smile is so pure, so full of love that Emily feels a bit overwhelmed.

She closes the distance between them, brings her arms around Naomi's neck and the blondes lets her.

"I love you" her girlfriend says. "I really _really _love you Ems… You're the best thing that's ever happened to me" she finishes in barely a whisper.

Emily is so filled with love and adoration for her girlfriend right now that she doesn't even have words to reply. Instead, she brings her lips to the blonde's cheeks and kisses her tears away. She does it carefully too, brushing her lips ever so softly against Naomi's perfectly soft skin. She doesn't really need to be this careful because it's not as if she was kissing bruises or anything, but at the same time, it's _exactly_ as if she's kissing bruises, they're just not the type you can see.

Naomi hums and sighs in relief and squeezes her tighter.

"I'm sorry I'm such a fuck up" the blonde says her voice dangerously wavering. "I don't fucking deserve you"

"You do" Emily argues firmly. "I love you Naoms, more than anything. I wouldn't want anyone else"

"Even if they were able to open up fully?" Naomi inquires, her face still hidden in Emily's hair.

The redhead lets a soft giggle escape her lips and pulls away a bit to place a firm kiss on her girlfriend's lips. It's not a needy or hungry kiss, but she hopes it conveys how she feels about Naomi in its fullness. She lets the kiss end and pushes herself off the blonde just so she can see her face.

"Not even then" she confirms and Naomi smiles thankfully.

They hug again and Emily feels the blonde inhale deeply the scent of her hair. She smiles to herself. All her doubts that her girlfriend might not love her as much have properly gone out the window now and it feels fucking amazing to have that certainty back. She pulls away again but grabs Naomi's hand to intertwine their fingers.

"Can we make a deal though?" she asks her and has to stifle a laugh when she sees the immediate look of worry on her girlfriend's features.

Luckily, Emily's amusement seems to reassure the blonde because her face softens again and she gives her a crooked smirk.

"Depends on the terms, but go on" the blonde says.

"You keep letting me in, bit by bit, and I'll keep proving you that I'm not going anywhere" Emily states with a smile full of love.

Naomi can't be convinced Emily won't ever let her go, but maybe she can be _shown_. The blonde smiles at her bashfully after that. Her eyes gloss over again, but this time it's not in pain, but in utter, unaltered love. The blonde nods slowly and squeezes Emily's hand.

"I think I can manage that" she teases.

The redhead smiles even more broadly and brings her lips to Naomi's once again, because she's not quite sure she can do anything else in that moment. The blonde welcomes her with parted lips and passion and Emily really thinks it's impossible for anyone to love each other more than how Naomi and she love each other. And it suits her, it really does. Emily always knew they were just _that_ special.

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**Good? Bad? You know I'm definitely curious to know what you thought of this! Feedback would be appreciated :) Love you all xx**

**MM  
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